The Feast of the Resurrection Easter Sunday

 Happy Easter!

Mark 16:1-8

And when the sabbath was past, Mary Mag'dalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salo'me, bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week they went to the tomb when the sun had risen. And they were saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the door of the tomb?" And looking up, they saw that the stone was rolled back; --it was very large. And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, dressed in a white robe; and they were amazed. And he said to them, "Do not be amazed; you seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has risen, he is not here; see the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him, as he told you." And they went out and fled from the tomb; for trembling and astonishment had come upon them; and they said nothing to any one, for they were afraid.

The Great Vigil of Easter

 The Great Vigil of Easter

Alleluia! Christ is Risen!
The Lord is Risen indeed! Alleluia!
This sermon was written by St. John Chrysostom, the Patriarch or Arch-bishop of Constantinople in the fifth century. He gave this sermon at Hagia Sophia, the great cathedral of Constantinople at the Easter Vigil in the year 400. This is the sermon I would have given tonight (in español) at the Great Vigil of Easter if I were still in active ministry.

Is there anyone who is a devout lover of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Is there anyone who is a grateful servant?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!

Are there any weary with fasting?
Let them now receive their wages!
If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their due reward;
If any have come after the third hour,
let him with gratitude join in the Feast!
And he that arrived after the sixth hour,
let him not doubt; for he too shall sustain no loss.
And if any delayed until the ninth hour,
let him not hesitate; but let him come too.
And he who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let him not be afraid by reason of his delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
He gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour,
as well as to him that toiled from the first.
To this one He gives, and upon another He bestows.
He accepts the works as He greets the endeavor.
The deed He honors and the intention He commends.

Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike receive your reward;
rich and poor, rejoice together!
Sober and slothful, celebrate the day!

You that have kept the fast, and you that have not,
rejoice today for the Table is richly laden!
Feast royally on it, the calf is a fatted one.
Let no one go away hungry. Partake, all, of the cup of faith.
Enjoy all the riches of His goodness!

Let no one grieve at his poverty,
for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn that he has fallen again and again;
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.
He has destroyed it by enduring it.

He destroyed Hades when He descended into it.
He put it into an uproar even as it tasted of His flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he said,
"You, O Hell, have been troubled by encountering Him below."

Hell was in an uproar because it was done away with.
It was in an uproar because it is mocked.
It was in an uproar, for it is destroyed.
It is in an uproar, for it is annihilated.
It is in an uproar, for it is now made captive.
Hell took a body, and discovered God.
It took earth, and encountered Heaven.
It took what it saw, and was overcome by what it did not see.
O death, where is thy sting?
O Hades, where is thy victory?

Christ is Risen, and you, O death, are annihilated!
Christ is Risen, and the evil ones are cast down!
Christ is Risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is Risen, and life is liberated!
Christ is Risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead;
for Christ having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.
To Him be Glory and Power forever and ever. 
Amen!

Almighty God, who through your only-begotten Son Jesus Christ overcame death and opened to us the gate of everlasting life: Grant that we, who celebrate with joy the day of the Lord’s resurrection, may be raised from the death of sin by your life-giving Spirit; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Holy Saturday

 

O God, Creator of heaven and earth: Grant that, as the crucified body of your dear Son was laid in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so we may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

Matthew 27:57-66
When it was evening, there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who was also a disciple of Jesus. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus; then Pilate ordered it to be given to him. So Joseph took the body and wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and laid it in his own new tomb, which he had hewn in the rock. He then rolled a great stone to the door of the tomb and went away. Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb. The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate and said, "Sir, we remember what that impostor said while he was still alive, "After three days I will rise again.'
Therefore command the tomb to be made secure until the third day; otherwise his disciples may go and steal him away, and tell the people, "He has been raised from the dead,' and the last deception would be worse than the first."
Pilate said to them, "You have a guard of soldiers; go, make it as secure as you can." So they went with the guard and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone.

Good Friday/Viernes Santo Stations of the Cross/Vía Crucis

 

FIRST STATION
Jesus is condemned to death

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

As soon as it was morning, the chief priests, with the elders and scribes, and the whole council, held a consultation; and they bound Jesus and led him away and delivered him to Pilate. And they all condemned him and said, "He deserves to die." When Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judgment seat at a place called the Pavement, but in the Hebrew, Gabbatha. Then he handed Jesus over to them to be crucified.

V. God did not spare his own Son:
R. But delivered him up for us all.

Let us pray:

Almighty God, whose most dear Son went not up to joy but first he suffered pain, and entered not into glory before he was crucified: Mercifully grant that we, walking in the way of the cross, may find it none other than the way of life and peace; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


SEGUNDA ESTACIÓN
Jesús toma su cruz

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Jesús salió, cargando su cruz, al lugar llamado de la Calavera, y en hebreo, Gólgota. Y aunque era Hijo, por lo que padeció aprendió obediencia. Como cordero fue llevado al matadero; y como oveja delante de sus trasquiladores, enmudeció, y no abrió su boca. El Cordero que fue inmolado es digno de tomar el poder, las riquezas, la sabiduría, la fortaleza, la honra, la gloria, la alabanza.

V. El Señor cargó en él el pecado de todos:
R. Por las transgresiones de mi pueblo fue muerto.

Oremos:

Dios todopoderoso, cuyo amado Hijo sufrió voluntariamente la agonía y el oprobio de la cruz por nuestra redención: Danos valor para tomar nuestra cruz y seguirle; quien vive y reina por los siglos de los siglos. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


THIRD STATION
Jesus falls the first time

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped; but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, and was born in human likeness. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him, and bestowed on him the name which is above every name. Come, let us bow down, and bend the knee, and kneel before the Lord our Maker, for he is the Lord our God.

V. Surely he has borne our griefs:
R. And carried our sorrows.

Let us pray:

O God, you know us to be set in the midst of so many and great dangers, that by reason of the frailty of our nature we cannot always stand upright: Grant us such strength and protection as may support us in all dangers, and carry us through all temptations; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


CUARTA ESTACIÓN
Jesús encuentra a su afligida madre

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

¿A quién te haré semejante, hija de Jerusalén? ¿A quién te compararé para consolarte, oh virgen hija de Sión? Porque grande como el mar es tu quebrantamiento. Bienaventurados los que lloran, porque ellos recibirán consolación. El Señor será tu luz eterna, y tus días de duelo terminarán.

V. Una espada traspasará tu misma alma:
R. Y llenará tu corazón de amargo dolor.

Oremos:

Oh Dios, que quisiste que en la pasión de tu Hijo una espada de aflicción traspasara el alma de la bendita Virgen María, su madre: Concede misericordiosamente que tu Iglesia, habiendo participado con ella en su pasión, sea hecha digna de participar en el gozo de su resurrección; quien vive y reina por los siglos de los siglos. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


FIFTH STATION
The Cross is laid on Simon of Cyrene

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

As they led Jesus away, they came upon a man of Cyrene, Simon by name, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross to carry it behind Jesus. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

V. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me:
R. Cannot be my disciple.

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father, whose blessed Son came not to be served but to serve: Bless all who, following in his steps, give themselves to the service of others; that with wisdom, patience, and courage, they may minister in his Name to the suffering, the friendless, and the needy; for the love of him who laid down his life for us, your Son our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


SEXTA ESTACIÓN
Una mujer enjuga el rostro de Jesús

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Lo hemos visto sin belleza ni esplendor, su aspecto no era nada atrayente; fue despreciado y rebajado. Era un hombre lleno de dolor, acostumbrado al sufrimiento. Lo despreciamos como a alguien que no merece ser visto, no lo tuvimos en cuenta y sin embargo él estaba cansado con nuestros sufrimientos, estaba soportando nuestros propios dolores. Mas él fue herido por nuestras rebeliones, molido por nuestros pecados; el castigo de nuestra paz cayó sobre él, y por su llaga hemos sido sanados.

V. Restáuranos, oh Señor Dios de los ejércitos:
R. Muestra la luz de tu rostro, y seremos salvos.

Oremos:

Oh Dios, que antes de la pasión de tu unigénito Hijo, revelaste su gloria en el monte santo: Concede que, al contemplar por fe la luz de su rostro, seamos fortalecidos para llevar nuestra cruz y ser transformados a su imagen de gloria en gloria; por Jesucristo nuestro Señor. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


SEVENTH STATION
Jesus falls a second time

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth. For the transgression of my people was he stricken.

V. But as for me, I am a worm and no man:
R. Scorned by all and despised by the people.

Let us pray:

Almighty and everliving God, in your tender love for the human race you sent your Son our Savior Jesus Christ to take upon him our nature, and to suffer death upon the cross, giving us the example of his great humility: Mercifully grant that we may walk in the way of his suffering, and also share in his resurrection; who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


OCTAVA ESTACIÓN
Jesús encuentra a las mujeres de Jerusalén

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Y seguía a Jesús gran multitud del pueblo, entre ellos mujeres que lloraban y se lamentaban por él. Pero Jesús, vuelto hacia ellas, les dijo: "Hijas de Jerusalén, no lloren por mí, sino lloren por ustedes mismas y por sus hijos".

V. Los que sembraron con lágrimas:
R. Con regocijo segarán.

Oremos:

Enseña a tu Iglesia, oh Señor, a llorar por los pecados de que es culpable, y a arrepentirse y olvidarlos; para que, por medio de tu gracia indulgente, el resultado de nuestras iniquidades no recaiga sobre nuestros hijos ni los hijos de nuestros hijos; por Jesucristo nuestro Señor. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


NINTH STATION
Jesus falls a third time

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

I am the man who has seen affliction under the rod of his wrath; he has driven and brought me into darkness without any light. He has besieged me and enveloped me with bitterness and tribulation; he has made me dwell in darkness like the dead of long ago. Though I call and cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. He has made my teeth grind on gravel, and made me cower in ashes. "Remember, O Lord, my affliction and bitterness, the wormwood and the gall!"

V. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter:
R. And like a sheep that before its shearers is mute, so he opened not his mouth.

Let us pray:

O God, by the passion of your blessed Son you made an instrument of shameful death to be for us the means of life: Grant us so to glory in the cross of Christ, that we may gladly suffer shame and loss for the sake of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


DÉCIMA ESTACIÓN
Jesús es despojado de sus vestiduras

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Cuando llegaron a un lugar llamado Gólgota, que significa de la Calavera, le dieron a beber vinagre mezclado con hiel; pero después de haberlo probado, no quiso beberlo. Y repartieron entre sí sus vestiduras, echando suertes. Esto fue para que se cumpliese la Escritura, que dice: "Repartieron entre sí mis vestiduras, y sobre mi ropa echaron suertes".

V. Hiel me dieron a comer:
V. Y cuando tuve sed me dieron a beber vinagre.

Oremos:

Señor Dios, cuyo bendito Hijo nuestro Salvador entregó su cuerpo a los azotes y su rostro al esputo: Otórganos tu gracia para soportar gozosamente los sufrimientos de esta vida temporal, confiados en la gloria que ha de ser revelada; por Jesucristo nuestro Señor. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


ELEVENTH STATION
Jesus is nailed to the Cross

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

When they came to the place which is called The Skull, there they crucified him; and with him they crucified two criminals, one on the right, the other on the left, and Jesus between them. And the scripture was fulfilled which says, "He was numbered with the transgressors."

V. They pierce my hands and my feet:
R. They stare and gloat over me.

Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ, you stretched out your arms of love on the hard wood of the cross that everyone might come within the reach of your saving embrace: So clothe us in your Spirit that we, reaching forth our hands in love, may bring those who do not know you to the knowledge and love of you; for the honor of your Name. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


DUODÉCIMA ESTACIÓN
Jesús muere en la cruz

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Cuando vio Jesús a su madre, y al discípulo a quien él amaba, que estaba presente, dijo a su madre: "Mujer, he ahí tu hijo". Después dijo al discípulo: "He ahí tu madre". Cuando Jesús hubo tomado el vinagre, dijo: "Consumado es". Y entonces clamando a gran voz dijo: "Padre, en tus manos encomiendo mi espíritu". Y habiendo inclinado la cabeza, entregó el espíritu.

V. Por nosotros Cristo se hizo obediente hasta la muerte:
R. Y muerte de cruz.

Oremos:

Oh Dios, que por nuestra redención entregaste a tu unigénito Hijo a muerte de cruz, y por su resurrección gloriosa nos libraste del poder de nuestro enemigo: Concédenos morir diariamente al pecado, de tal manera que vivamos siempre con él, en el gozo de su resurrección; quien vive y reina ahora y por siempre. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.


THIRTEENTH STATION
The body of Jesus is placed in the arms of his mother

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you:
Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

All you who pass by, behold and see if there is any sorrow like my sorrow. My eyes are spent with weeping; my soul is in tumult; my heart is poured out in grief because of the downfall of my people. "Do not call me Naomi (which means Pleasant), call me Mara (which means Bitter); for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me."

V. Her tears run down her cheeks:
R. And she has none to comfort her.

Let us pray:

Lord Jesus Christ, by your death you took away the sting of death: Grant to us your servants so to follow in faith where you have led the way, that we may at length fall asleep peacefully in you and wake up in your likeness; for your tender mercies' sake. Amen.

Holy God,
Holy and Mighty,
Holy Immortal One,
Have mercy upon us.


DÉCIMACUARTA ESTACIÓN
Jesús es puesto en la tumba

Te adoramos, oh Cristo, y te bendecimos:
Que por tu santa cruz has redimido al mundo.

Cuando llegó la noche, vino un hombre rico de Arimatea, llamado José, quien también era un discípulo de Jesús. Este fue a Pilato y pidió el cuerpo de Jesús. Entonces Pilato mandó que se le diese. Y tomando José el cuerpo, lo envolvió en una sábana limpia, y lo puso en su sepulcro nuevo, que había labrado en la peña; y rodó una gran piedra a la entrada del sepulcro.

V. No me abandonarás en el sepulcro:
R. Ni permitirás que tu Santo vea corrupción.

Oremos:

Oh Dios, tu bendito Hijo fue puesto en la tumba en un huerto, y descansó en el día del sábado: Concede que nosotros, los que hemos sido sepultados con él en las aguas del bautismo, encontremos nuestro perfecto descanso en su eterno y glorioso reino; donde él vive y reina por los siglos de los siglos. Amén.

Santo Dios,
Santo Poderoso,
Santo Inmortal,
Ten piedad de nosotros.

Oh Salvador del mundo, que por tu cruz y preciosa sangre nos has redimido:
Sálvanos y ayúdanos, humildemente te suplicamos, oh Señor.

Oremos:

Te damos gracias, Padre celestial, porque nos has librado del dominio del pecado y de la muerte y nos has traído al reino de tu Hijo; y te rogamos que, así como por su muerte nos ha hecho volver a la vida, por su amor nos exalte a los gozos eternos; quien vive y reina contigo, en la unidad del Espíritu Santo, un solo Dios, ahora y por siempre. Amén.

To Christ our Lord who loves us, and washed us in his own blood, and made us a kingdom of priests to serve his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.

Maundy Thursday

 Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may receive it thankfully in remembrance of Jesus Christ our Lord, who in these holy mysteries gives us a pledge of eternal life; and who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.  Amen.

John 13:1-5
Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him. And during supper Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" Jesus answered, "You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand." Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no share with me." Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!" Jesus said to him, "One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet, but is entirely clean. And you are clean, though not all of you." For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, "Not all of you are clean."

After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.

The Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Christmas Special, all in ONE POST this year!!

Some may doubt this, but we here are the Dance Party are Traditionalists. We are Traditionalists in as far as we have our traditions, sacred traditions, sacred, secret traditions, which you can't learn until you've lived through passed the hazing ritual super fun initiation joke.

We also believe in establishing new, improved traditions. Yes, we are the New Traditionalists. If one lives in the U.S.A., one can not turn on the Television Receiver Machine without seeing traditional Television programs: The Peanuts Christmas Special, The Pee-Wee Herman Christmas Special, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Bad Santa, Naughty Edy the Elf Does the North Pole, and, the classic It's A Hanukkah Christmas This Kawnzaa, Charlie Brown! We, the management and staff of Padre Mickey's Dance Party, present our lovely holiday tradition: the Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Christmas Pageant Posts. Heck, we figure there must be at least three of you Gentle Readers who missed this last year. Plus, isn't if great to see Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House looking so plump and un-simian or un-chickie like? Of course it is! So, may you all be touched with the Holiday Spirit of over-eating, drinking to excess, insane materialism, and parump-a-pum-pum! Also, instead of running this thang for three weeks, we're going for ONE LARGE POST this year, so, good for us! ¡Desfrutalo! Also, the Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Christmas Special was created long ago when yer Padre was in Panama, so there will probably be Panamanian references. LIVE WITH THEM!

Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Gallito Mescalito; how are things?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, I've noticed that, too, but you know how Padre feels about Advent.


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! ¡Shrriieekk!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank That's right. He doesn't care what the rest of the neighborhood is doing; he only wants an Advent Wreath right now.


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Where did that Christmas decoration come from?


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank And that! Where did that reindeer come from?


Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SHRRIIIEEEEKKK!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank AAARRRGGGHH! Where did YOU come from¨_
TP Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Advent!
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank You need to get out of here for a few weeks!
TP Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho!


Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey, Bank. Hey, Boid. 'sup?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Oh, hello, Cat! We were discussing the season.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I see dat da neighbohs all gots dere lights and trees up! An' as always, we only gots dat wreath.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, we just chased the TP Santa away!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Well, can't we have jus' a lil' decarashun?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Okay. I'll put up the Nacimiento Mola.



Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Cool!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Hi boys. Nice backdrop!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love! We've been discussing the season.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love And Padre Mickey's obsession with Advent?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yup!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Say, Red Mr. Peanut Bank, the doggy toys have been talking with me, as well as the rest of the cast, and they want to put on a Christmas Pageant. Would you supervise?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yeah!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank A Christmas Pageant!?! Well, I suppose so.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! ¡Shrriieekk!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I'm sorry, Gallito Mescalito; there's no way on earth you could be the Narrator! Maybe you can be Gabriel...
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I WANNA BE AN ANGEL!!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank You look more like a shepherd to me; the Chief Shepherd, but a shepherd nonetheless!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Er, I think I'l go tell the others that you are casting right now.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Okay. Thank you, Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I know wut yoo means. A shepherd anna angel. Wut's he tinkin'?


Mighty Moose of Vermont and El Penguino Hi, Everybody!
Everybody Hi, guys!
Mighty Moose of Vermont We hear that there may be a Christmas Pageant and we want to participate.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey, Moose! You can be a cow at da manger!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love And El Penguino can be the Baby Jesus!
El Penguino ¿El Divino Niño? ¡PORfaVOR!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, we're still casting. Don't worry.



Diablito Sucio y ¡El Toro! ¡El Tres Reyes! ¡EL TRES REYES!
Squeaky Gorilla Yeah, we wanna be the Free Kings! , skeek
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I'm sorry, but this is a Christmas Pageant. The Three Kings appear at the Epiphany Pageant. What is that noise?
Squeaky Gorilla Sheesh! skeek You sure are strict!skeek What noise?skeek
Red Mr. Peanut Bank THAT NOISE! Look, you guys are going to be shepherds. The Wise Men show up at another pageant.
Diablito Sucio y ¡El Toro! ¿Pastores? ¡Está Bién!
Squeaky Gorilla Okayskeek We'll be shepherds. skeek But keep us in mind for the Epiphany Pageant! skeek


Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Ladies! I suppose you both want to be the Blessed Virgin?
Wooden Kuna Doll Si, Señor.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love That's right, pal. And you'd best make the CORRECT decision!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Give me a few days, ladies; give me a few days!



Telly Tubbies Wanna be in show! Wanna be in show!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Sure, no problem. You four will be angels.
Telly Tubbies Yay! Big Hug!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Sheesh!



Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel Hi! I want to be a shepherd!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Really? I thought that you would be Michael, the Commander of the Heavenly Host, Praising God and saying: Glory to God!
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel But I want to be a shepherd. Or a sheep! Or even a donkey!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, let me think about this...



Toilet Paper Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho! I want to be Joseph!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank No! No! No! You won't be in this pageant!
Toilet Paper Roll Santa Darn! Darn! Darn!



Red Mr. Peanut Bank Bunrab! So good to see you! Are you willing to be in our Christmas Pageant?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Yes. I'd love a part if you can spare one.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I think that you would be great as the Narrator. Also, would you be willing to help me write the script?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Sure! Hey, I think the rooster should play Joseph!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Really? Why?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Because the Holy Family doesn't have any lines! It'll be great!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank We have a week ahead of us!

Will the casting make sense? Will a terrible fight break out between Wooden Kuna Doll and Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love? Will the Pageant include all of Mary Sue's favorite Christmas Carols? Can we drag this out for a few more days? Tune in tomorrow, hopefully, for answers to all these questions!!!

 

As you recall, last week yesterday the Dance Party Players asked Red Mr. Peanut Bank to help them put on a Christmas Pageant. Our story continues.....


Red Mr. Peanut Bank I love to walk the neighborhood and see all the nacimientos on display. Yikes! That reminds me! I wonder how the Dance Party Christmas Pageant is coming along?


Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Hmmm... Και ποιμενες ησαν εν χωρα τη . . .


Red Mr. Peanut Bank Wow! That's some funny writing. What's going on here?


Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Hello, Red Mr. Peanut Bank! How are you?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Fine, thanks. And you? And what are these books?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House I'm fine. I'm exploring the ancient texts to write the script for the Christmas Pageant.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank How's it coming along?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Well, My Hebrew is terrible but my Greek is okay, so I think I'll have it ready by rehearsal. Have you decided who will play the Baby Jesus?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank No, not yet. Well, I think I'll leave you alone to work.



Red Mr. Peanut Bank Buenas tardes.
Wooden Kuna Doll Buenas tardes, Señor Mani Rojo.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Buenas tardes, Red Mr. Peanut Bank. We're studying this icon of the Blessed Virgin and the Holy Child. As you know, we both want to play the BVM in the pageant. Have you made a decision on the part yet?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, no. I hope you will both audition tomorrow.
Wooden Kuna Doll ¡Sí, Señor!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love You know we'll be there. Hey, who's going to play the Baby Jesus? The only one around here who looks like the Baby Jesus in that icon is that red Telly Tubbie!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I don't know. Well, good to see you both!
Wooden Kuna Doll Adios, Señor Mani Rojo.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Ciao, babe!



Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hi fellas. What's going on here?
El Penguino Oh, hello, Red Mr. Peanut Bank! These guys are all deciding who will be a cow and who will be a sheep.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Who will be what?
El Penguino They've decided they'll arm wrestle. Loser is a cow. Or donkey.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, not that this isn't interesting, but I must run!
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank No, I don't know who will play the Baby Jesus yet. Maybe Poh.
Gallito Mescalito ¡SHRIEK!



El Penguino This is terrible. I think I'll go help the angels.



Red Mr. Peanut Bank Santa! What are YOU doing here? Shouldn't you be at the North Pole, or at least at the Mall?
Santa Well, since you won't let me play Joseph in the Christmas Pageant, I offered my help in making costumes. Plus, the elves have it under control at the North Pole, except for those Episcopal Elves who spend all their time doing that Terrible Version of the Macarena! And then there are those Fallen Elves who hang out at Kendall Harmon's place. But I digress. . . Look at all this fabric!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Do you know what you're doing?



Santa Of course I do. Who the heck do you think made all those cute outfits for the elves? I've got a machine, I've got fabric, I've got a tape, and these costumes will be FABULOUS!!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera Okay. If you can't trust Santa, who can you trust?



Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Mistah Sanna, sir. Dis sleeve is way too big!
Santa It's not done yet, silly! We just need to take it in a bit!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy But did da shepahds really weah dis color?
Gallito Mescalito Shriek! SHRIEEK!!
Santa What are you talking about, you silly rooster! You are a Vision in that fluffy cotton! Look, Kitty, you will be the most handsome Shepherd ever to hold a crook, and Rooster, you will be the cutest, fluffiest, and most lovable little lamb ever to see the Baby Jesus! Yes you will! You will!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Say, who's gonna be da Baby Jeezus anyway?
Santa How would I know? But I'll bet it will be the sweetest little baby Jesus ever seen since the original!! Maybe it will be Poh!
Gallito Mescalito ¡SHRIEK!



Red Mr. Peanut Bank El Penguino, what is going on here?
Dipsy Woah! WOAH!
El Penguino Well, I thought I do some wire work with the angels
La-la, Poh, and Tinky Winky Dipsy fly! Dipsy fly!
El Penguino So, did you pick a Baby Jesus yet?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank No, not yet. I don't know, this looks somewhat dangerous!
Dipsy Woah! WOOAAOOH!
La-la, Poh, and Tinky Winky Dipsy fly! Dipsy fly!
El Penguino Nah, don't worry. Everything will be fine!!



Gallito Mescalito ¡SHRIEK!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Good Lord! What is going on?
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Dis whole outfit is too big! Sumbuddy hep me!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank This does not look good!
Dipsy Woah! WOOAAOOH!
La-la, Poh, and Tinky Winky Dipsy crash. DIPSY CRASH!
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Hey! I'm trying to write here! You little green weirdo!!
El Penguino Yow! Im outta here!



El Penguino I'm tired. I think I'll climb in this bed and take a nap. Plus, it looks like a good place to hide. Yawn. I wonder who will play the Baby Jesus? Yawn



El Penguino Snnnnnnoooooorrrrrrrre

 

Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, Bunrab, tonight's the night! Are you ready?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House As ready as I can be. The rehearsals went much better than expected, and they've decided not to use wires on the angels, gracias a Dios! Are you ready to be the Narrator?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Of course! I love being Narrator.


Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Well, the sleeves are okay, but I'm having trouble holdin' dis stick ting.
¡El Toro! ¿Parecer una oveja? ¿Esta traje engañar a nadie?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello Santa, hello Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Kitty Toy, hola ¡El Toro! Are you about ready?
Santa Yes, it's show time! All the costumes are fabulous and our cast are ALL STARS!!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, good, because these two are on first.

Santa No problem!! Kitty, you are a beautiful shepherd, and all the sheep will follow you anywhere!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Tanks, Santa! Yer not too bad yerself! I gotta get to da stage.
Santa And you! YOU! You are the wooliest little lamb I've ever seen! Yes you are! Yes you are!!
¡El Toro! ¡POR faVOR!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank Welcome to Padre Mickey's Dance Party's Christmas Pageant! We hope that you enjoy all the hard work our cast has put into this production.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House, whispering Psst! Don't forget las celulares!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Oh, yes! Please turn off your cell phones and pagers, or put them on vibrate. Also, this pageant is for entertainment purposes only. Please, no wagering! And now, our pageant.


Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera In that region there were shepherds living in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy, whispering No you stand dere, and you, you go ovah dere. An you, jest stan' still!
Ahem, Oh, what a beautiful, quiet nite. I suppose dat nuttin' 'citin' will happen tuhnite.
¡El Toro! Baa. Baa.
Squeaky Gorilla Baa skeek Baa

Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Wut da ...
¡El Toro! BAA!! BAA!!
Squeaky Gorilla BAA! skeek BAA!!
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel Yikes! What is that in the sky?

Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera But the angel said to them
Wooden Kuna Doll Do not be afraid; for see----I am bringin' you good news of great joy for all de peoples: to you is born this day in the city of David (pero not in Chriqui, el otro ciudad David) a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.

Wooden Kuna Doll This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger.
Telly Tubbies Ina manger! Ina manger! Da Messiah! Da Messiah!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying
The Heavenly Host Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors!


Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Whoa!!
¡El Toro! BAA!! BAA!!
Squeaky Gorilla BAA! skeek BAA!!
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel Wow! They're really good!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey! Let us go now tuh Betlehem and see dis ting what takes place, which da Lowd maked known tuh us!
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel Sounds good to me! Plus, it's cold out here.
¡El Toro! Baa. Baa.
Squeaky Gorilla Baa skeek Baa
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel What is that noise?
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Don' ask!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger.
Gallito Mescalito Shrie Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love SHUSH! Not now!

Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy No! Really! Dere wuz angels an' everting!
¡El Toro! Baa. Baa.
Squeaky Gorilla Baa skeek Baa
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel No, it's true! I saw it with my own eyes, and let me tell you, I know all about angels!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera And all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them.
Farm animals Yeah, that's some story! Angels, ya say?
The Mighty Moose of Vermont Mooooose. Mooooooose. I am a cow! Mooooose.

Red Mr. Peanut Bank, off camera But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.


El Penguino Is this thing over yet? 'Cuz I'm sweatin ta def in this bankie!!!

Red Mr. Peanut Bank Please give our cast a round of applause!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank That ends our program for the evening. There is chicha, sorril, and empanadas in the lobby. Merry Christmas, and Good night!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Okay, now!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡¡SSSSHHHHHRRRRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!